Day 22 - First Solo Run

So today was a breakthrough for me, I went for my first solo run! I've been putting off going for a solo run because I was worried that I wouldn't push myself as hard as when I have my running partner Red with me. Before I left for my run, I decided what my goal was. I wanted to run from lights to lights (about 1km) then part way back (to the train tracks) walk a bit then run again (sorry, I couldn't figure out how to get the google map of my run on here). So I set off with my iPod in hand (really need to get an arm band for it) ready to conquer the world, or at least my 2km of it.

I started with a light walk from my front door to my starting point (lights 1). I saw my first group of people in their yards and got a little nervous, I really don't like the idea of people seeing me run. When I got to the lights I was ready to run. Off I went, running down the road with my dance music blaring in my ears. Whew, I was getting tired quickly! I just started and my goal seemed unattainable. Then I realized how fast I was running and slowed down to a more sustainable pace. (I think I might save the fast paced music for later in my run when I'm getting tired and need the extra motivation.) So I'm trotting along messing with my iPod, I really need to make a playlist for running so I'm not having to spend so much energy skipping songs, and forgetting to breathe properly and next thing I know, I'm at the train tracks! Woo Hoo!! The turning point is in sight. I can totally do this!!!

After running up the small hill I touched the yield sign (half way point) and was thrilled! My head was pounding a little so I decided to walk a moment then start running again. After walking to the 2nd light pole I started to run again. This time I ran down the rest of the hill past the train tracks to the next road. At this point I was feeling really good about my progress and really tired! I walked for the next little bit as I wanted to save my energy to be able to run the final stretch. After a few minutes of walking, and more playing with my iPod, I was off again. Next thing I knew I was home! Tired, sweaty and super pumped!!

I realize that a step by step account of my run isn't the most exciting thing to read, but I need you to understand that doing this run on my own today was a huge thing for me. I needed to be able to break my run down into sections so that I could manage it on my own. As I completed a section, it gave me the confidence I needed to continue with the next. I don't know if any of you are in the same situation as me, overweight and pretty inactive, but I'm proof that a little hard work and you CAN achieve amazing things. Is being able to run 3/4 of 2km an amazing thing? Heck yes!! Especially if you haven't run since Brian Mulroney was Prime Minister! For you youngsters, that was the very early 90's.

After today's run, I'm confident that by the end of this month I will be running the whole 2km at a deccent pace. I'm sure that when I run in the Rankin Cancer Run 5km on May 29 that I will achieve my goal of running at least half the course! I also realized that I can push myself to do amazing things. No I don't want to disappoint Red, she has done so much to help me and inspire me to be the best me possible, but more importantly I don't want to disappoint myself. I want to prove to myself that I am capable of more than what I've been doing. I'm better than what I've been giving myself credit for.

Day 22 feels great!! I can't wait to see what day 42 and day 62 bring! This 30 day challenge has become more than a challenge for me, it's a new health lifestyle!

Day 18 - Getting There

Can I just say that I am totally loving this 30 Day Challenge that i'm doing! At day 18 I'm just shy of 10lbs down! I'm loving eating oatmeal and fruit for breakfast and a yummy, colourful salad for lunch. There are days when I crave the crap but I find that I'm not HUNGRY all the time. I went into Tim Hortons this morning with my co-workers, normally I would have bought something even if I wasn't hungry but today when I looked at the food NOTHING! No desire to touch the stuff. I'm so excited!! I really feel like this Challenge really is a new way of life for me.

So, I finally went for a run tonight, it's been over a week! I was worried at first that I wouldn't be able to run but "Red" was there to encourage and push me along. The first half was AWESOME!!! I made it to the halfway point and wasn't really tired. I was planning on just walking a moment or two then get back to running, then it hit me! The WORST stitch I have EVER had!! I did the breathing and and tried to push it out but it would NOT go away. Lucky for me, there is a train track part way through our path and there was a train going through so I got to use it as an excuse to walk for a bit. By the time we got to the train track I thought I was ready to run again, but I wasn't. I just couldn't run. I was SOOO disappointed!! (I like exclaimation points) Finally, the darn thing went away and was able to run the rest of the way home. Can't wait for the next run!

Day 11 - First Bump

Today, I cheated! I struggled ALL day at work with wicked cravings but was able to push past them but at home I wasn't as successful. It's weird though, I worked most of the day in an empty office where no one would have seen me cheat but at home with my family around me I caved! What bugs me the most is the lack of guilt. I mean I know I shouldn't have had the small bowl of trifle or the fudge covered granola bar but I thought I would feel worse about it. I know that a little treat now and then when everything else you are eating is healthy is normally ok, but with the challenge all I had to do was not cheat.

The thing that is so hard for me is the whole mind over matter deal. I know that my weight is effecting my health, my energy, and even my feelings. I'm afraid that if I stay the weight I am that I'm going to end up with Type II diabetes and in a motorized scooter. Let's face it, my joints are getting worse (I've had trouble with my knees since I was a teenager and my other joints started casuing problems when I was 20) and the weight does not help. I don't want to be 40 and unable to walk up a flight of stairs. I want to be able to go into a thrift store and find a a great pair of jeans (yes I miss thrift stores). I want to be able to a healthier example for my daughter. So knowing that to get these things I need to loss weight, how do I change my inner thinking??

I feel like I keep sabotaging myself. For 12 years I have been hiding in a body that I don't even know. Daily I am shocked when I catch a glimpse of myself in the reflextion of a window. At one point I thought that I kept the weight on so that I didn't get screwed over again with guys. When I was thin, that's all I was too guys, a body. I didn't want to risk going through that again. I wanted someone to love me for me and not for the curves. The problem is, I don't know if I love me for me. I didn't love myself when I was thin and now I love myself but not the fat. It may sound crazy, but I think I'm afraid of being thin again. Wow, that's hard to admit.

This makes me think of Dr. Phil. Now I'm not a huge fan of his, but I do remember him saying that "you're fat because you want to be fat." I guess I should have listened to the next part where he talked about how to change that. Any tips on that would be welcomed!

Day 6 - Pants on the Ground!

Today has been a GREAT day! It started my most favourite way....sleeping in!! I had my regular oatmeal and fruit then some play time outside with the local neices and nephew. It's crazy that it's already easier to play around! I not only feel healthier but more positive! This is going to be great!!

So I'm down a few more pounds and I can TOTALLY tell!! You know when you put your jeans on straight out of the dryer and they're a little snug, then by day 3 of wearing them they're really loose?? Well within an hour of having my jeans on (straight from the dryer) they kept falling down!! I could slide them right off without undoing them! This is just giving me the motivation to keep on going.

Tonight I had this great meal from the 30 day challenge I'm doing, it's called Oriental Wok and it's loaded with tofu. Now, I've never made tofu before or eaten it so I was pretty nervous but man was it good!! I'm thinking of trying the scrambled tofu for breakfast one day, I just have to decide which flavour I'd like it. For those who know me know that I don't cook, but I have really enjoyed cooking this week and doing silly things like cutting veggies and fruit. I think this whole lifestyle really is going to change my life. I can't wait to see what the next 3 weeks bring!

Weight: down 4.5 lbs.

Day 4 - Drinking Problem

So I'm on Day 4 of the Challenge and so far so good.

On day 2 my trainer/coach/friend Red came over and we went for a "run". It was great! I was moving slowly but I was moving. Before going out I thought I was going to die, so I was pleasantly surprised when I made it home alive. I've come to learn that I can infact run, I just can't breathe. So when I go for my "run" tonight I'm going to practice my breathing and I'm sure Red will be giving me gentle reminders.

The only problem that I've had so far is my drinking problem. I haven't had a problem with avoiding pop/juice/milk etc. but I have had a hard time drinking my water. I seem to only be getting a bottle a day down. My biggest problem is that I didn't arrange to have my Yoli in on time!

Eating healthy DOES require planning! When I got home from grocery shopping I washed, cut and put my fruits and veggies in containers in the fridge, all ready to go! Saves a lot of time. But when you don;t plan you end up having a grilled chicken without the bun, so basically a piece of chicken from Wendy's. Yup, need better planning!

Progress: down 2.6 lbs

Day 1 - Let the Jouney Begin

I'm a curvy girl stuck in a fat girls body, that's how I feel. My whole growing up years, I was teased for my curvy body. I had "back" before J-Lo made it cool and a chest that made my adult friends jealous. I always thought I looked OK but was never really comfortable my body. I definitely had a distorted view of what I looked like and I think I still do.

When I got married at the age of 18, I wore a size 7 dress and weighted around 115-20 lbs. I was curvy and was OK with it. Within 6 months or so I was expecting my daughter and had put on a little weight. By the time my daughter was 6 months old, I was wearing a size 20 dress and weighed close to 200 lbs!!! My little frame was no longer curvy, it was lumpy. Needless to say, my then husband did not like the change and was soon on his way out the door. The first month he was gone, I lost 30 lbs. It was great! I wasn't eating chips everyday and drinking pop, I was on my way back to old me. Unfortunately, the old me was MIA and my weight went up and down for years and now it's right back up to the top.

A few months ago, I heard on the radio that the size of your waist should be no more then half of your height. When I took out the measuring tape and did my measuring I was floored!!! My waist was so much bigger than I thought!! I had to do something about this!! I had to make the changes now. I've had knee problems and difficulty with my joints since I was a teen but all this extra weight is only making it worse.

Alright, so I was all stoked! No more pop, no more crap food, I was going to exercise 3-4 times a week, I was going to get healthy! I lost 10 lbs! Then, life happened. I got busy with a play I was doing, I had no time to work out. I slipped up with the eating and then started making excuse after excuse. The problem is.....I love food and I'm lazy! There, I said it! I can admit it. I was faced with "What to do now?"

The answer came by way of a new business venture and working with a great team! Together, we've developed a 30 day Challenge (http://30daybetatest.blogspot.com) that incorporates healthy eating and exercise. What a great way to test if the challenge is effective and give myself a kick start on the whole lifestyle change thing. So today is my Day 1. Due to my existing health issues, I've had to modify the meal plan portion of the challenge a little but I am so excited to get going!

I'm not sure yet if I'm going to post my weight and inches information, but I will try to be as honest as possible about my progress through this challenge and how I'm dealing with my food addiction.

Food - (So I was pretty sick today and ended up staying home from work. When it came time for lunch, I went with leftovers because I just couldn't look at anything else.)

Breakfast
Oatmeal and Banana

Lunch
1/2 bowl leftover Chicken Pot Pie (not on the plan)

Dinner
Salad with chicken
small bowl of strawberries

Snack
100 cal bag of nuts & cranberries