Day 18 - Getting There

Can I just say that I am totally loving this 30 Day Challenge that i'm doing! At day 18 I'm just shy of 10lbs down! I'm loving eating oatmeal and fruit for breakfast and a yummy, colourful salad for lunch. There are days when I crave the crap but I find that I'm not HUNGRY all the time. I went into Tim Hortons this morning with my co-workers, normally I would have bought something even if I wasn't hungry but today when I looked at the food NOTHING! No desire to touch the stuff. I'm so excited!! I really feel like this Challenge really is a new way of life for me.

So, I finally went for a run tonight, it's been over a week! I was worried at first that I wouldn't be able to run but "Red" was there to encourage and push me along. The first half was AWESOME!!! I made it to the halfway point and wasn't really tired. I was planning on just walking a moment or two then get back to running, then it hit me! The WORST stitch I have EVER had!! I did the breathing and and tried to push it out but it would NOT go away. Lucky for me, there is a train track part way through our path and there was a train going through so I got to use it as an excuse to walk for a bit. By the time we got to the train track I thought I was ready to run again, but I wasn't. I just couldn't run. I was SOOO disappointed!! (I like exclaimation points) Finally, the darn thing went away and was able to run the rest of the way home. Can't wait for the next run!

Day 11 - First Bump

Today, I cheated! I struggled ALL day at work with wicked cravings but was able to push past them but at home I wasn't as successful. It's weird though, I worked most of the day in an empty office where no one would have seen me cheat but at home with my family around me I caved! What bugs me the most is the lack of guilt. I mean I know I shouldn't have had the small bowl of trifle or the fudge covered granola bar but I thought I would feel worse about it. I know that a little treat now and then when everything else you are eating is healthy is normally ok, but with the challenge all I had to do was not cheat.

The thing that is so hard for me is the whole mind over matter deal. I know that my weight is effecting my health, my energy, and even my feelings. I'm afraid that if I stay the weight I am that I'm going to end up with Type II diabetes and in a motorized scooter. Let's face it, my joints are getting worse (I've had trouble with my knees since I was a teenager and my other joints started casuing problems when I was 20) and the weight does not help. I don't want to be 40 and unable to walk up a flight of stairs. I want to be able to go into a thrift store and find a a great pair of jeans (yes I miss thrift stores). I want to be able to a healthier example for my daughter. So knowing that to get these things I need to loss weight, how do I change my inner thinking??

I feel like I keep sabotaging myself. For 12 years I have been hiding in a body that I don't even know. Daily I am shocked when I catch a glimpse of myself in the reflextion of a window. At one point I thought that I kept the weight on so that I didn't get screwed over again with guys. When I was thin, that's all I was too guys, a body. I didn't want to risk going through that again. I wanted someone to love me for me and not for the curves. The problem is, I don't know if I love me for me. I didn't love myself when I was thin and now I love myself but not the fat. It may sound crazy, but I think I'm afraid of being thin again. Wow, that's hard to admit.

This makes me think of Dr. Phil. Now I'm not a huge fan of his, but I do remember him saying that "you're fat because you want to be fat." I guess I should have listened to the next part where he talked about how to change that. Any tips on that would be welcomed!

Day 6 - Pants on the Ground!

Today has been a GREAT day! It started my most favourite way....sleeping in!! I had my regular oatmeal and fruit then some play time outside with the local neices and nephew. It's crazy that it's already easier to play around! I not only feel healthier but more positive! This is going to be great!!

So I'm down a few more pounds and I can TOTALLY tell!! You know when you put your jeans on straight out of the dryer and they're a little snug, then by day 3 of wearing them they're really loose?? Well within an hour of having my jeans on (straight from the dryer) they kept falling down!! I could slide them right off without undoing them! This is just giving me the motivation to keep on going.

Tonight I had this great meal from the 30 day challenge I'm doing, it's called Oriental Wok and it's loaded with tofu. Now, I've never made tofu before or eaten it so I was pretty nervous but man was it good!! I'm thinking of trying the scrambled tofu for breakfast one day, I just have to decide which flavour I'd like it. For those who know me know that I don't cook, but I have really enjoyed cooking this week and doing silly things like cutting veggies and fruit. I think this whole lifestyle really is going to change my life. I can't wait to see what the next 3 weeks bring!

Weight: down 4.5 lbs.

Day 4 - Drinking Problem

So I'm on Day 4 of the Challenge and so far so good.

On day 2 my trainer/coach/friend Red came over and we went for a "run". It was great! I was moving slowly but I was moving. Before going out I thought I was going to die, so I was pleasantly surprised when I made it home alive. I've come to learn that I can infact run, I just can't breathe. So when I go for my "run" tonight I'm going to practice my breathing and I'm sure Red will be giving me gentle reminders.

The only problem that I've had so far is my drinking problem. I haven't had a problem with avoiding pop/juice/milk etc. but I have had a hard time drinking my water. I seem to only be getting a bottle a day down. My biggest problem is that I didn't arrange to have my Yoli in on time!

Eating healthy DOES require planning! When I got home from grocery shopping I washed, cut and put my fruits and veggies in containers in the fridge, all ready to go! Saves a lot of time. But when you don;t plan you end up having a grilled chicken without the bun, so basically a piece of chicken from Wendy's. Yup, need better planning!

Progress: down 2.6 lbs

Day 1 - Let the Jouney Begin

I'm a curvy girl stuck in a fat girls body, that's how I feel. My whole growing up years, I was teased for my curvy body. I had "back" before J-Lo made it cool and a chest that made my adult friends jealous. I always thought I looked OK but was never really comfortable my body. I definitely had a distorted view of what I looked like and I think I still do.

When I got married at the age of 18, I wore a size 7 dress and weighted around 115-20 lbs. I was curvy and was OK with it. Within 6 months or so I was expecting my daughter and had put on a little weight. By the time my daughter was 6 months old, I was wearing a size 20 dress and weighed close to 200 lbs!!! My little frame was no longer curvy, it was lumpy. Needless to say, my then husband did not like the change and was soon on his way out the door. The first month he was gone, I lost 30 lbs. It was great! I wasn't eating chips everyday and drinking pop, I was on my way back to old me. Unfortunately, the old me was MIA and my weight went up and down for years and now it's right back up to the top.

A few months ago, I heard on the radio that the size of your waist should be no more then half of your height. When I took out the measuring tape and did my measuring I was floored!!! My waist was so much bigger than I thought!! I had to do something about this!! I had to make the changes now. I've had knee problems and difficulty with my joints since I was a teen but all this extra weight is only making it worse.

Alright, so I was all stoked! No more pop, no more crap food, I was going to exercise 3-4 times a week, I was going to get healthy! I lost 10 lbs! Then, life happened. I got busy with a play I was doing, I had no time to work out. I slipped up with the eating and then started making excuse after excuse. The problem is.....I love food and I'm lazy! There, I said it! I can admit it. I was faced with "What to do now?"

The answer came by way of a new business venture and working with a great team! Together, we've developed a 30 day Challenge (http://30daybetatest.blogspot.com) that incorporates healthy eating and exercise. What a great way to test if the challenge is effective and give myself a kick start on the whole lifestyle change thing. So today is my Day 1. Due to my existing health issues, I've had to modify the meal plan portion of the challenge a little but I am so excited to get going!

I'm not sure yet if I'm going to post my weight and inches information, but I will try to be as honest as possible about my progress through this challenge and how I'm dealing with my food addiction.

Food - (So I was pretty sick today and ended up staying home from work. When it came time for lunch, I went with leftovers because I just couldn't look at anything else.)

Breakfast
Oatmeal and Banana

Lunch
1/2 bowl leftover Chicken Pot Pie (not on the plan)

Dinner
Salad with chicken
small bowl of strawberries

Snack
100 cal bag of nuts & cranberries